In today's world, divorced parents may find it challenging to have the time they need to spend with their children. Some divorced parents do not have many days out of a month to spend with their kids. Other divorced parents, usually the ones that have full custody of the children, rarely get a healthy break from being mom or dad, and this can cause a tremendous amount of stress that many parents end up taking out on the kids. In other cases, divorced parents re-marry, and the kids feel as though they are in competition with their parent's new spouses. Find out why you may be the reason your child is acting out.
Problem One: Assuming Only Your Child Needs Counseling
Your child may be disrupting his or her class at school with poor behavior or causing life at home to be challenging. You may also focus only on your child and his or her negative behavior. Many parents dealing with a kid who is being aggressive automatically assume that the kid needs counseling right away. However, before you make the decision to take your child to a counselor, take a long look at yourself. Consider how you may have changed since becoming divorced. Also, consider how your child viewed you before your divorce and how he or she may see you now.
Most children of divorced parents view their circumstances as horrible and will do what it takes to get their family back like it was before the divorce. Your first step after a divorce should be to take your child to counseling with you. If your child sees you receiving counseling for dealing with the divorce, he or she may find it the best way to get back to a normal life and routine as well. When you can see how your behavior after a divorce impacts your child, you will be able to thwart many of your child's negative actions and poor behavior.
Problem Two: Thinking Your Child Will Automatically Accept Your New Significant Other
If you have re-married or are seeing someone new after your divorce, you may think that person is wonderful and that your child will have no problem liking that person as much as you do. However, many kids will view that new person as an obstacle in the way of his or her spending time with you. Tell your new significant other that you are going to focus on your child when he or she visits. Showing your child that he or she means a lot to you even though the other person is present is extremely important. If you worry about your new significant other being upset at you because of your decision to spend more time with your child, you may not need that person in your life to start with.
How you act in front of your child and the attention you give to him or her can make a huge difference after a divorce. Children acting out and leaving their divorced parents wondering why will have an easier time accepting the new normal when parents take steps to show them everything is going to be okay.
Visit sites like http://livinghopeclinic.org to find a counseling office near you.